How To Date Smarter & Successfully In 17 Steps

Dating can be intimidating and frustrating if you don’t know how to date Smarter with a strategy and set yourself up for success. This is not about playing games; it’s about having a support structure that will help you find a high-value man who aligns with your love vision and the future you want to build.

Yes, we should follow our heart when searching for the one, but we’ve also got to use our heads to ensure we don’t get carried away by a fantasy that doesn’t exist. If you’ve been unlucky in love a lot or continue to attract toxic, emotionally unavailable men, you’ve got some work to do before you find what you’re searching for. Follow these steps, and you’ll save time, energy, and heartache on your way to a healthy, loving connection with the man of your dreams.

Today’s dating landscape is more fast-paced than ever before, and if you’re newly single or need help finding love, this article is for you.

This is how to date smarter & more successfully this year

1. Learn to love yourself

Little Love Step #1 of my 7 Little Love Steps is to build your sexy confidence, tap into your feminine energy and learn to love yourself so that you automatically position yourself as a high-value woman. When a woman values herself and knows what she brings to the table, other people can see and feel it. There’s nothing more attractive than this in a woman, and it has nothing to do with appearance.

So if you always attract low-value men and unhealthy relationships, I’d recommend taking a step back from dating and working on you. Invest in your health, work, hobbies, and social life. Practice self-care. Learn to love life as a single woman and appreciate all you have to offer.

How To Date Smarter & Successfully In 17 Steps

2. Think about why you’re single

If you’ve been single for a while but want a relationship, reflect on why that might be. Are there patterns you continue to repeat that are holding you back from attracting what you want? It’s all about figuring out what your dating blind spots are.

For example, a negative dating pattern might be that you are too picky. You rarely match with someone on dating apps, and first dates rarely lead to a second. Perhaps you’re focusing on the wrong things when evaluating a guy’s potential.

Another example is attracting emotionally unavailable men who won’t commit. Instead of picking up on the subtle (or not-so-subtle) red flags that these men are not ready for a relationship, you continue to invest your time and energy into them and end up hurt.

If you’re unsure why you’re single, ask someone you trust who knows you well to give you their honest opinion. Alternatively, consider working with a dating coach to help you better understand yourself and where you’re going wrong.

Once you’ve identified the problem, work on solving it. For example, if you tend to be too picky, commit to a second date with every guy (unless he’s a psycho). If you keep attracting commitment-phobes, make it clear early on what you’re looking for and see if you’re on the same page. Tubit If you’re not, that’s your cue to walk away.

3. Be at peace with being single

Here’s how to date smarter and more successfully this year: embrace being single. Of course, we all want to find love and be loved. But the reality is a relationship won’t complete you and won’t make you happy or confident. That’s on you.

Plus, if you’re not comfortable and content with being single, this will shine through when you’re out meeting new people, and it can make you settle for men and relationships that aren’t good for you.

So start looking for things to be grateful for and things you love about being single. Maybe it’s the fun and excitement of meeting new people from different backgrounds. Perhaps it’s being able to invest more time in yourself and your hobbies or having your house organized and decorated exactly the way you like it.

How To Date Smarter & Successfully In 17 Steps

4. Create your love vision

Now you’re ready to create a love vision. Take time to reflect on the man and relationship compatible with your future. The man who’s right for you may not necessarily match with the man you think you want.

This exercise will help clarify what you want so that you’ll know how to choose the right man and avoid wasting time in the wrong relationship. Focus more on writing down qualities and characteristics you’re looking for rather than height or how much he looks like The Rock.

5. Be open-minded

To learn how to date more successfully, you’ve got to do it with an open mind. Having a “type” will close you off from meeting many amazing men with whom you could potentially fall in love and have a wonderful relationship.

It’s great to have shared interests, and it’s important to have shared values. But it’s okay if he has different interests or isn’t your usual “type.” For example, don’t automatically write off a guy because he says he “loves the gym” and you would rather poke your eyes out than step foot in a gym. You might be a great match!

Open your mind, and you’ll find you have a lot more luck when dating.

6. Stay safe – How To Date Smarter

A quick note on safety: stay alert when meeting new people and going out. Make sure you put your comfort and safety first. If a man doesn’t understand your need to feel safe (i.e., meet in an open public place, not go for a walk with him late at night in an unlit street, etc.), then he’s not worth investing your time in.

You’re right to be concerned and over-cautious when meeting a stranger or someone you’ve only met a handful of times. Always let someone know where you’re going, meet in a busy neutral place, and don’t have more than one drink on a first date so you can maintain a clear head.

7. Have a positive attitude – How To Date Smarter

Here’s a great tip for how to date more successfully: be positive! I know it’s easy to get discouraged if you go on a string of bad dates with guys who aren’t your cup of tea. But maybe you’re looking at things the wrong way.

What if you decided to walk into every first date with a completely open mind and look at it as a chance to meet someone new and gain a fresh perspective? What if you didn’t see it as two hours of your life you’ll never get back but rather two more hours of solid dating practice?

Go into every date with the mindset of laughing a lot, enjoying your favorite drink, and having a new experience, regardless of whether it leads to another date. Positive energy is infectious. Your aura will draw high-energy, upbeat people toward you and make you much more attractive.

8. Start meeting quality men – How To Date Smarter

Now you’re ready to get out there and start meeting high-quality men who meet your love vision.

“But Adam, all the good guys in my town are either taken or gay!”



There are plenty of amazing, single, high-value men; you just need to know where to look for them. So if you haven’t met any, you’re looking in the wrong places!

Give dating apps and match-making services a go, but opt for ones tailored to the kind of man you’re looking for. E.g., if you’re looking for someone who is a devout Christian just like you, Christian Mingle would be a great one to join.

Make sure you say yes to invites to gatherings and parties that come your way, and get out of your comfort zone and talk to new people while you’re there. Heck, talk to new people wherever you are: at the grocery store, coffee house, or even the dentist!

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